Humor: Office Holiday Parties, What Our Drink of Choice Tells Colleagues

Well, it's that time of year again.  Holiday parties.  If your company is doing well enough, they may even be throwing an office holiday party that offers (cue the dramatic music) alcohol.  While you should always play it safe when it comes to alcohol at any party, it becomes doubly important at the office party.

So drink responsibly and try to take advantage of the networking opportunities with your colleagues.  Some of them may know you very little or not at all.  With that in mind, if your colleagues don't know you well, here's a humorous attempt to explain what your drink of choice may be telling them about you.

• NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK:
• Drinkers who drink on other occasions:  "Call me Mr./Ms. Play It Safe.  I've heard all the horror stories about office party antics and don't want to become another statistic."
• Non-drinkers:  "Don't judge me.  I choose not to drink.  I need to mingle and talk to everyone now because I want to be out of here before all you lampshades get to your 3rd drink."
• BEER:  "Hey, I'm a down to earth person.  I'd much rather be firing up my grill right now, but I can hang with you jokers for awhile."
• RED WINE:  "You should know I'm quite cultured.  I'm also a great conversationalist.  I just hope you can keep up."
• WHITE WINE:  "I try to come off like the red wine drinker, but I'm really more like the beer drinker."
• MIXED DRINK:  "Call me a networker extraordinaire.  I'm like a chameleon.  I can talk to anyone for 5 minutes.  Navigating this party is a breeze."
• STRAIGHT LIQUOR:  "I'm a tough SOB.  It's my way or the highway pal.  You guys should be hanging on my every word.  I can deal with these parties because you all work for me or will one day."
• 3RD/4TH ALCOHOLIC DRINK OF ANY:  "Man, this party is better than I thought!  They need to turn up the music!  So what do you think about 'so and so'?"
• 5TH ALCOHOLIC DRINK AND ABOVE:  "Wooooooooo it's a party!!!  C'mon, loosen up!!  Let's dance!  Who's up for after hours?!  Merry freakin Christmas!!!