Humor: Office Holiday Parties, What Our Drink of Choice Tells Colleagues

Well, it's that time of year again.  Holiday parties.  If your company is doing well enough, they may even be throwing an office holiday party that offers (cue the dramatic music) alcohol.  While you should always play it safe when it comes to alcohol at any party, it becomes doubly important at the office party.

So drink responsibly and try to take advantage of the networking opportunities with your colleagues.  Some of them may know you very little or not at all.  With that in mind, if your colleagues don't know you well, here's a humorous attempt to explain what your drink of choice may be telling them about you.

Business Casual vs. Business Professional

The age old question:  Do dress codes at work make any difference on productivity or morale?  It seems the scientific answer is that most studies show little to no effect in either direction.  Here's a few blogs that get into this discussion in a little more detail:  Productivity Blog, Culture in the Workplace, Andrew Jensen.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I will offer up that I am absolutely a jeans and t-shirt guy.  So you can guess which side of the fence I fall on.  Personally, I feel if I am comfortable, I am much more likely to be happy and productive.  Business casual all the way for me!  But, I absolutely think business professional attire is warranted at times.  So basically, since company dress codes come down to company preference, here's the three basic questions to ask to determine which one makes the most sense.

10 Things to Stop Doing Right Now

Great article from Jeff Hayden.  Happiness in your business and personal life is often a matter of subtraction, not addition.  Lots of great points.  Probably not many of us who can accomplish all of them.  But we have to keep trying!  Enjoy the read.

A Company That's Showing the Money!

Kudos to Whole Foods for paying its employees more than it has to.  While other retailers, such as Walmart, pay their employees an average of $12 per hour, Whole Foods pays their employees an average of $15 per hour (a whopping 25% more!).  In addition, Whole Foods offers the majority of their employees benefits and stock options.  Whole Foods co-CEO Walter Robb says he wishes the company could pay them even more.  While the annual wage still equates to a modest amount around $31K, fundamentally, it's a huge step forward for American workers.

Got Zzzzzz's?

Ahhhh, sleep.  Love it.  Back in the high school and college days, I could sleep away half the day no problem.  If there was such a thing as an Olympic Sleep Team, I would have been a lock for a gold medal.  But then reality and life set in.  While those sleep days are long gone, I still try to get 7-8 hours a night.  Not just because I like it, but because I NEED it.  While it's true you can get by with less sleep, it is not healthy for your mind and body and definitely robs you of productivity during your waking hours.  The average American sleeps 6.5 hours.

Is Offshoring a 4-Letter Word?

I'll cut to the chase.  In my opinion, yes, offshoring is a 4-letter word.  While I can understand the arguments made in favor of offshoring, from a long-term and "big picture" perspective, I just think it's a bad idea for America.  Here's some articles from The Economist, Foreign Policy Journal, Procurement Intelligence Unit, and HRO Today that provide some food for thought. 

Humor: Beat the Heat

As much of the country has recently gone through a solid 7-10 day intense heat wave with 100+ degree temperatures, everyone has been trying to beat the heat.  How we ever got by before A/C is a mystery to me.  Always on the lookout for ways to gain an advantage at work, it got me thinking.  How can we use a heat wave and the usual precautions to our advantage at work?

1. "Stay hydrated.  Drink plenty of water regularly, even if you do not feel thirsty."  Sounds like the perfect reason to hang by the water cooler (for your health's sake of course).
2. "Check on the welfare of family, friends, and loved ones."  Sure they are personal calls, but it's better to be safe than sorry to make sure your loved ones are safe (for their health's sake of course).
3. "Slow down and avoid strenuous activity.  Do not try to do too much on a hot day."  OK, if I must (for your health's sake of course).

Executive Pay is a Runaway Train

To say executive pay is out of control is a bit of an understatement.  Years ago, the CEO probably made about 15-20 times what the average salaried worker did.  Now that number is more like 400 times the average worker.  WOW!

Office Design? It's Like Putting Lipstick on a Pig

Todd Leopold makes a decent effort to discuss office design in a 'Dilbert' world.  I nodded my head in agreement and got a good chuckle from some of his observations.  However, I just don't buy that this stuff truly moves the needle at all in terms of workplace success, creativity, or enjoyment.  Sure, all the new bells and whistles that come down the pike in office design and layout can contribute to office creativity and success.  And using an eye dropper can help you put out a grease fire on the stove too.

Humor: Advice for Graduates

As graduation season is upon us, I figured I'd throw my hat into the ring and offer up some advice for graduates about to enter the real world.

1.  Learn Chinese.  China owns us already.  You'll be a step ahead of the competition if you can speak their language.

Why Work Doesn't Happen at Work

Jason Fried takes a different approach to work productivity in this TEDTalk.  For many years he's asked people this question:  "Where do you go when you really need to get something done?"  Very rarely is the answer "at work."  For those who answered "at work," it was usually very early in the morning or late at night when no one was around.

Spare Me the Stretch Goals

Daniel Markovitz has a great article on the Harvard Business Review blog about stretch goals.  In my many different work experiences, stretch goals have rarely ever worked.  Most of the time, the carrot ends up being just too far ahead and is never reached.  Translation: Why bother. 

Career Passion Myth

Penelope Trunk has an interesting article on what she calls the career passion myth.  While I don't think the idea of happiness boiling down to engagement in what we do is earth shattering, I do think it gets brushed aside far too often. 
You've heard the phrase, "It's about the journey, not the destination."  Unfortunately, in our work lives (and quite possibly all other areas too), it's almost always about the end game only.  Finish the project, get the promotion, take on more responsibility, get that management role (or take on more staff).  It's great to have goals and add value to your organization, no doubt about it.  But do we ever stop to figure out if the work is the best fit for us?  Is the journey through the day-to-day working for us?

Facebook COO Leaves Work at 5:30?!

I did a double-take when I first read it!  A COO in the heart of Silicon Valley leaving work at 5:30 every day?!  Were pigs flying?  Was this the 7th sign?  Had hell frozen over?

It is VERY refreshing to see a prominent employee, especially one who works for a tech company no less, taking back her life.  I especially liked the way Sheryl emphasized this is something for men too, not just women.  Maybe one-by-one, we will begin to see more people doing the same.  It would be nice to begin to see the pendulum swinging in the other direction towards a more balanced life.

*** UPDATE:  I've seen a few more articles on this "big news."  Sooooooo sad that it's considered worthy of media coverage.  Here's a link to CNN's article:  http://bit.ly/I092nR

Bring Back the 40-hour Work Week

In a very detailed article, Sara Robinson of AlterNet presents many compelling points to bring back the 40-hour work week.  150 years of research proves that long hours at work kill profits, productivity and employees.  I totally agree with the point that most managers use a single, warped, easy-to-chart metric to measure passion:  a willingness to spend your entire life at work.

Entrepreneur vs. Work-Life Balance

Decent article in the WSJ about entrepreneurs' personal time getting the short shrift.  Some good points and some scary ones in the article.  I always say it's about setting expectations and boundaries.  If you don't, you can end up like two people in this story... one skipped a friend's wedding and another gained 30 pounds!  I really like the last line... "When you make time for yourself to be healthy, your business will thrive.  It's not a sacrifice.  It's a shift in attitude."  Well said. 

Flipping the Switch When You Leave Work

The Wharton School has an interesting article about employees "flipping the switch" when they leave work.  Many questions abound.  Can they?  Will they?  Should they?  Are they? 

Work-Life Balance Advice That Makes Sense

Over the years, I've read a bunch of articles that claimed to be about work-life balance, but were really all about time management techniques.  True work-life balance is very different.  In this 10-minute TEDTalk, Nigel Marsh does a fantastic job getting to the core issues of work-life balance.  This may be the best synopsis I've ever heard in trying to gain true work-life balance.  Well worth the listen.

Work-Life Balance. It's Really about Choices.

Work-life balance is not easy.  It's not a myth either.  What it really boils down to is choices.  Just like anything in life, your choices define your past, present, and future.  You own your life.  How you set priorities for your life will dictate how your work-life situation will look. 

Anne Egros depicts this process of prioritization through the Wheel of Life.  I love this visualization.  Plus, my car wouldn't make it a mile down the road if my tires were in the same shape as my Wheel of Life!

Humor: Top 7 Reasons to Leave Work by 5:00

Since our culture currently overemphasizes the amount of time we should spend at work, it's unlikely you can openly say "I'm leaving work now because I want to enjoy the other areas of my life."  So here's a list of some other options to get out the door by 5:00! 

1.  I HAVE to leave now in order to beat traffic.  (Be careful, the boss may counter with "You're better off staying until 6:30. You won't have to deal with traffic then and you'll probably get home around the same time.")

2.  I've got to pick up my child at daycare before it closes.  (I've heard of people who considered lying about having kids in order to use this one!  How sad is that?!)

3.  I need to get home to let my dog out.  (Faking a pet may be better than trying to fake a kid!)

You Find Time for the Things That Truly Matter

When my alarm went off this morning, two radio morning show hosts were talking about what they ate the day before.  One of them ate very little.  She said she was so busy that she didn't have any time to eat.  Too busy to eat?  Really?  What's next?  Sorry for the stink, but I just didn't have time for a shower.  Or, sorry about the bad breath, but I haven't had a moment to grab my toothbrush.  I hope one of her relatives buys her some Depends in case she's so busy she can't make it to a bathroom.

Vacation Time on the Endangered List?

When's the last time you heard of someone who left for vacation for more than a day or two and did NOT check in with the office or check email AT ALL?  I'm guessing not very often.  How about someone who had to (or was forced to) cancel vacation plans at the last minute because of a "crisis" at work?  I know I've seen this one many times.  Or what about someone who had a bunch of vacation time banked and was scrambling at the end of the year to try and take vacation days because they would lose them come 1/1?  All.  The.  Time.  We have become the no vacation nation.  The results of a recent Expedia vacation survey were not good, but not surprising either.  MSN has a good summary.

Passion Without Obsession

There are a few lucky ones out there who know exactly where their passions lie.  Let's say they have a genuine love for something, become great at it, and may even make a living at it.  Does that sound like you?  If so, kudos to you.  Consider yourself blessed.  Many people never find their passion or even look for it in the first place.  However, be very careful to not let that blessing turn into a curse.  This is a very easy trap to fall into.

Humor: Translations for What We Say Into What We Really Mean

Sometimes we say exactly what we mean.  But many times we don't.  Sometimes it's because of political correctness and other times it's because we don't want to get into trouble.  Here's a few "translations" I came up with that show what we REALLY mean.  Many are office environment-related.  I hope it gives you a laugh during your crazy, hectic day.  I'll periodically add some new ones to the list.  If you have any you'd like to add, feel free to add in the comments section.  Enjoy!


"I need someone who can come in and hit the ground running."
Translation:  I don't plan to spend any time training you, so you better be able to figure it out yourself.


"When will you have that report finished?"
Translation:  I want that report now.


"I had a great time!"
Translation:  I can't wait to post this on Facebook!

We Work Too Much

That's right.  I said it.  We work too much.  The culture here in the United States places such a high value on work that most people are willing to let work crowd out other aspects of their lives.  Family, friends, church, community, and personal development needs go by the wayside all the time.  The kid's baseball game, the choir practice, the volunteer event, the continuing education class, the trip to the gym, the lunch with a friend, and yes even date night.  We may just be a little late, we may re-schedule, or we may outright cancel.  Many people won't think twice about prioritizing work over any of these because work is THE priority.  That's what's been drilled into our heads.  You can look at it another way.  How many times have you been late, re-scheduled, or canceled a work event because of a non-work event?  I'm guessing it happens a whole lot less than when work drowns out non-work.